Achtung Baby: the Gavinners' Greatest Hits
by YamiTami
Summary: HOORAY FOR RHYMING DICTIONARIES! 'My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witness', 'Love with No Chance of Parole', 'and My Love, Atroquinine' were named in the game. The rest are original titles by me or other members of the Gyakutan Saiban LJ comm.
1. All Rise

**Since people are still interested in my fics over here and FFN has fixed a couple (but not near all) of the issues it's been having, I'll start posting my stories here again. This is really against my better judgment and if they screw up so that dashes disappear or the ads somehow get more annoying, then I'm not coming back. It's bad enough they still don't allow tildies for no apparent reason.**

**I'm posting this in chapter one of all my stories so everyone knows where I can be found. See my profile for the link to my homepage.**

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[dark stage, single spot lighting Klavier from the back so his features are still in shadow]  
[deep, low strumming, no other music]

Here again  
The battlefield  
Fighting for  
What's really real

There's just one thing  
I must inquire  
Why can't I hear  
Your burning desire

[the lights come on, pyrotechnics flare, the music blares, and the fans go wild]

Are you ready for the rhythm  
Psyched for the song  
Here we come together  
In the place we belong  
My brothers and sisters  
Shout it to the skies  
_**ALL RISE**_

Get up and scream  
Your soul to the night  
Let your troubles go  
And it'll be alright

Now keep it all clean  
We're not here to brawl  
We just want to get lost  
In the beauty of it all

Oh and it's beautiful  
Are you ready  
Are you set  
Ready  
Set  
GO

Ready for the rhythm  
Psyched for the song  
Here we come together  
In the place we belong  
The demons of our days  
We now exorcise  
_**ALL RISE**_

[instrumental jam session and introduction of the band]

Everybody  
Are you ready for the rhythm  
Psyched for the song  
As we come together  
In the place we belong  
My brothers and sisters  
Let's shout it to the skies  
_**ALL RISE**_


	2. My Boyfriend is the Prosecution's Witnes

He steps up to the stand  
Hand on the smooth polished pine  
Looks the lawyer in the eyes  
And sighs  
'How 'bout we stop wasting time  
Get on with your questions  
Cross examine at will'  
You know I feel a _chill_

My boyfriend is  
The prosecution's witness  
It lights my fire  
To see him standing tall  
He has no fear  
For the questions that he answers  
And when he steps down  
We'll have ourselves a ball

Above the court I sit  
'Acquit' the audience says  
They don't think my baby's true  
But I do  
Won't be long until they see  
Gives his testimony  
With a confidant air  
And you know I just stare

'Cause my boyfriend is  
The prosecution's witness  
It lights my fire  
To see him standing tall  
He has no fear  
For the questions that he answers  
And when he steps down  
We'll have ourselves a ball

**[bridge]**

Walking from the courthouse  
Arm in arm  
Another case solved  
The city safe from harm  
Now where should we go  
To celebrate  
He said how about home  
I said baby, it's a date

Oh my boyfriend is  
The prosecution's witness  
It lights my fire  
To see him standing tall  
He has no fear  
For the questions that he answers  
And when he steps down

We'll have ourselves  
Oh we'll have ourselves  
Go back home and have  
Ourselves  
A ball


	3. Love with No Chance of Parole

You played a pretty part  
Then cut me with a knife  
You took away my heart  
Now I'm looking at life  
I committed no crime  
But I've no proof to show  
Now all I've got is time  
And love without parole

Don't you see what you've done  
My jailer valentine  
The bars are slamming down  
Around this heart of mine

Should've seen it coming  
When you called me your clown  
Now the doors are closing  
And I'm in lockdown  
The crime is yours to claim  
'Cause it's my heart you stole  
But I'm the one in love  
With no chance of parole

I'm locked up in a jail  
Of honey sweet perfume  
I'll never make bail  
This place will be my tomb  
You arms are the gates  
Your lips the jagged wire  
And all the inmates  
Are chained by your desire

Don't you see what you've done  
My jailer valentine  
The bars are slamming down  
Around this heart of mine

Should've seen it coming  
When you called me your clown  
Now the doors are closing  
And I'm in lockdown  
The crime is yours to claim  
'Cause it's my heart you stole  
But I'm the one in love  
With no chance of parole

**[bridge]**

I don't have a defense  
Just let my time commence

I never saw it coming  
When you whispered my name  
The gavel's hammered down  
And I just lost the game  
The crime is yours to claim  
'Cause it's my heart you stole  
But I'm the one in love  
With no chance of parole

Oh I'm the one in love  
With no chance of parole


	4. My Love, Atroquinine

**NOTE:** The title of the song was translated incorrectly as 'Atroqinine, My Love' when it went from German to English. Not me mixing it up. No sir.

(besides, it's more fun to rhyme with 'atroquinine' than 'love')

----------------------

**[spoken]  
Now, a certain girlfriend of a member of the band, to remain unnamed, was always asking for a song to be written in her honor. Well, she's an ex-girlfriend now but we felt we should still sing her song for you here tonight.**

[guitar strumming]

**Some boys have their Cuddlebears  
They have their Kittens too  
Sugars and Honeys are all so sweet  
Maybe even a crazy Kazoo**

[sung, as the music kicks in]

Oh, but baby, they're not you  
Oh darling, they're just not you

Like a girl in a magazine  
Long and lean  
Hair dark brown  
And eyes wintergreen  
Sitting on your throne  
Like a Byzantine queen  
My baby, my darling, my love  
Atroquinine

When I met you in the street  
You took my breath away  
I wooed you, I won you  
And now I've gotta pay  
Anything, baby  
Whatever you say  
You'll leave me tomorrow  
And come back today

Like a demon all in green  
Beautiful and mean  
Lips painted red  
And skin velveteen  
You hide your iv'ry fangs  
Venom serpentine  
My poison, my viper, my love  
Atroquinine

[music dies down, back to strumming guitar]

**You seemed fair and pretty  
As an angel without wings  
But now I know the truth  
Your bite really stings**

[music surges]

We're done with this game  
How's this for a pet name

You're killing me like chlorine  
I think I need some morphine  
Just take me to the guillotine  
My poison  
My darling  
My love  
Atroquinine

------

*conspiring whisper* Her name is Angeline Wing. I'm not entirely sure which member of the band she was dating. But it's not the drummer because his girlfriend's pet name is Kazoo. I don't know when my brain decided that but it was decided and without my consent. She probably calls him Bongo.


	5. Golden Gavel

Throwing out  
The harshest word  
Prejudice  
And things absurd  
Living in  
A long gone time  
I disagree  
And that's my crime

You believe  
You've got the right  
To spit around  
Your poison spite  
I've got to say  
My wicked friend  
I've had enough  
We've reached the end

You think you've got a golden gavel  
That your robes are spun of steel  
You're sitting on an ivory throne  
The world beneath your heel  
I've got something to tell you  
You're not the judge of any trial  
So just give me that golden gavel  
And we can chat a while

The lady stands  
Both blind and true  
But she can still  
See right through you  
Colorblind  
No care for wealth  
She only sees  
Your moral health

The poison bleeds  
Across your tongue  
Tasting like  
The mud you slung  
It isn't good  
To live such hate  
Meet all you know  
With cruel debate

You think you've got a golden gavel  
That your robes are spun of steel  
You're sitting on an ivory throne  
The world beneath your heel  
I've got something to tell you  
You're not the judge of any trial  
So just give me that golden gavel  
And we can chat a while

Understand  
I'm not alone  
It's not too late  
You can atone  
But only if  
You've truly learned  
Your words are wrong  
Court is adjourned


	6. No Objections

I'm not sure where we're going  
But I know that I'm your night  
Why can't we be together  
In the clear morning's light

I've worried and I've pondered  
And I know what I must do  
I'm going to have to leave  
If that's all I am to you

But if you want someone to hold you  
And make that connection  
If you want a man to kiss you  
And share that affection  
If you want me to love you whole  
In all your imperfections  
If that's what you want  
Then I have no objections

Girl you know I love you  
But I can't go on  
I just can't shake the feeling  
That what we have is wrong

You gotta tell me baby  
Where the next road will go  
And if I've gotta leave I will  
Even though it hurts me so

But if you want someone to hold you  
And make that connection  
If you want a man to kiss you  
And share that affection  
If you want me to love you whole  
In all your imperfections  
If that's what you want  
Then I have no objections

**[bridge]**

If you want to have a lover  
Who leaves by the dawn  
If you want to have a man  
Who's here then he's gone

If you want that kind of lust  
All passion and flame  
I've got to tell you, baby  
I don't feel the same

But if you want someone to hold you  
And make that connection  
If you want a man to kiss you  
And share that affection  
If you want me to love you whole  
In all your imperfections  
Girl, if that's what you want  
Then I have no objections


	7. Suspect at Large

I'm looking for a beauty  
Wrapped in gold chiffon  
The clock is ringing midnight  
And this girl has gone  
I'm looking for the clues  
There's nothing to be found  
There's no crystal slipper  
Just laying on the ground

She might be Cinderella  
A princess taking flight  
She could just be a temptress  
More suited to the night  
Whoever she is I'll find her  
Who makes my passions charge  
Wherever she is I'll hold her  
This suspect at large

Her skin of creamy chocolate  
Her eyes of endless coal  
She looked at me and shook me  
Touched something in my soul  
I've questioned all the dancers  
The waitress doesn't know  
Who is this striking woman  
Who simply seemed to glow

She might be Cinderella  
A princess taking flight  
She could just be a temptress  
More suited to the night  
Whoever she is I'll find her  
Who makes my passions charge  
Wherever she is I'll hold her  
This suspect at large

I see here there  
A parting glance  
I watch her leave  
I've missed my chance

**[bridge]**

I'm looking for a carriage  
Of bright and gaudy gold  
A mocking imitation  
Of the girl I'd like to hold  
I think I'm going crazy  
It might just be the light  
Her cab, it simply vanished  
A ghost into the night


	8. Take the Stand

He walks by every morning  
You see his bruises every day  
A boy only eleven  
Who can't go out to play

Will be it be a sling tomorrow  
A bright and cheery cast  
Or will it be this morning  
That this child breathes his last

Sometimes it's hard to take that step  
But it's his hurt you'll never forget  
You know in your heart this isn't right  
He can be saved but you have to fight

_[[take the stand]]  
_You gotta do what you can  
_[[take the stand]]  
_In this modern wasteland  
_[[take the stand]]  
_In a world of contraband  
_[[oooo oo oooo]]  
_We have to reprimand  
Come on and take the stand

They grab her and they sneer  
It's just a little fun  
She walks on full of tension  
What if they have a gun?

Nobody's gonna listen  
Nobody turns their head  
And early next morning  
In the river she'll be dead

Across the street you can't help but see  
Her eyes meet yours in a desperate plea  
She's only a girl you've never met  
But it's her face you'll never forget

_[[take the stand]]  
_You gotta do what you can  
_[[take the stand]]  
_In this modern wasteland  
_[[take the stand]]_  
In a world of contraband  
_[[oooo oo oooo]]  
_We have to reprimand  
Come on and take the stand

You think someone will do it and so does all the crowd  
No one will hear them calling even thought they scream so loud

_[[take the stand]]  
_You gotta do what you can  
_[[take the stand]]_  
In this modern wasteland  
_[[take the stand]]  
_In a world of contraband  
_[[oooo oo oooo]]  
_We have to reprimand  
Come on and take the stand


	9. Anna Lynn As the Snow Falls

A/N: So I finally write another song and it turns out immensely depressing. Just a warning for you guys.

0101010

_The song "Anna Lynn", otherwise known by the name "As the Snow Falls", sparked great controversy when The Gavineers first released the single. At first glance it's clear that this song is about a rough murder case, and many young fans guessed that it was a case one of the band actually worked and went searching for the mysterious Anna Lynn. Unfortunatley the first site most found was not a newspaper clipping or other detached account; someone had stolen crime scene photos and then posted them online. The fans, some reportedly as young as 8 years, saw the unedited proof of the violent way Anna Lynn and eleven other girls where murdered by Stu Goils, who would cook and eat the intestines of his disemboweled victims._

_Bass guitarist and detective Daryan Crescend was responsible for the capture of the violent murderer and for writing the song. He was publicly criticized for the creation of the song and was blamed for the young fans who were traumatized by the photos even though their existence on the internet was without his knowledge and highly illegal. However through the PR nightmare he and the rest of the band never backed down from their tribute to Anna Lynn, the first victim and the one who reportedly haunted Crescend's nightmares. All proceeds from the single went to the families of the victims.  
_

_Now, on the other side of his murder conviction and the exposure of his serious drug addiction, many believe that this case was what pushed him over the edge and into the downward spiral that ended with a life sentence. Crescend refuses to comment on anything so speculation is all we have.  
_

0101010

She loved a sunny winter day

Always rushed outside to play

Singing songs that lit up her heart

Suddenly she's grabbed from behind

Deadly thought in a monster's mind

A life over before it could start

I'm so sorry Anna Lynn

I promise I won't let him win

Whispered soft to the blood on the walls

And the snow falls

A dozen sleepless hotel nights

Bad coffee brings me to the light

Another sweet child has met her end

A promise to a mother's grief

An order from a frightened chief

A monster is what we must apprehend

I'm so sorry Anna Lynn

I promise I won't let him win

Whispered soft to the blood on the walls

And the snow falls

A monster we sought

A monster we caught

Now I caught him Anna Lynn

How can I say he didn't win?

All I see is the blood on the walls

And the snow falls

**Daryan CrescendDa**


End file.
